Immediately afterward, my ears became deaf, my eyes went dark, and my legs lost its strength.
I hurriedly leaned back against the wall to help my staggering body to prevent falling.
“Ha, ha.”
Taking a deep breath, I checked my condition.
My chest felt stuffy, my eyes went dark, and it became hard to breathe.
It showed the symptoms of when the weak body was under unbearable stress.
“Ha.”
It was getting more hard to breathe. I clenched my teeth.
Then someone who saw me approached me urgently. The sound of footsteps approaching from a distance contained impatience.
At that moment I expected again like a fool. I wanted to think that it was Aslan who found me. Aslan, as always, would be the one who saves me.….
‘What are you going to do now that you already know that his heart doesn’t care for you?’
He could have seen me at my lowest if I ran into him now.
Maybe I would have grabbed him and begged him not to abandon me and to stay with me.
So it was good that he didn’t come.
But even though I knew it, I just, I expected him to come because I missed him.
I thought I would see Aslan’s friendly face if I looked up.
However, my expectations were brutally dampened.
“Are you all right, ma’am?”
When I looked up, I saw Jenna, the maid of honor.
Looking at my complexion with a worried face, she seemed to be running to get a doctor.
I held out my hand, trying to breathe properly.
“It’s okay.”
“But, ma’am,”
After seeing me for three years, she didn’t seem to believe me.
“I’m telling you, I’m not sick, I’m just tired.”
After barely gaining energy, I continued, straightening my back.
“I’m going to bed early today, so if anyone comes to find me, inform it to me later.”
At my resolute command, Jenna only bit her lips, but she didn’t say anything more.
Jenna’s face revealed her complex feelings.
“Can you do that for me?”
“……Yes.”
Jenna replied in a still worried voice.
I walked slowly with a smile.
Jenna followed me quickly.
The tenacious gaze that did not leave me for a moment was uncomfortable, but I did not chase her away.
In the past, I once collapsed while walking around alone. It was because I thought lightly of having a cold and overworked myself.
Fortunately, I was discovered quickly because I lost consciousness in a corridor where people often wandered.
I didn’t really care, because it often happened before I got married to Aslan, and I’ve been found to be in a worse condition than that.
But others did not seem to see it that way.
While I collapsed, Aslan called in the workers and scolded them severely.
I didn’t really hear what he said or how he got angry.
However, Jenna, who was delivering the word, looked very afraid.
Other workers, besides her, have treated me very seriously since then.
They never left me alone if I had even the slight discoloration.
Even though I, who is accustomed to traveling alone, gave the order to relax , the workers did not move with fearful faces.
They seemed to take my words of being alone as a death sentence.
Kneeling to my knees and sobbing to please let me be attended to, I couldn’t drive them away.
It was the same now.
‘It’s uncomfortable to be overprotected, but it can’t be helped.’
I didn’t want anyone else to be harmed because of me.
I walked quickly, trying to ignore Jenna’s gaze.
Fortunately, I arrived at the bedroom soon.
“You really should go now. I’m very tired and want to sleep , so don’t disturb me.”
“All right, ma’am. Please call me if you need anything.”
“Yes.”
Jenna bowed deeply and went outside.
I simply washed with the washing water that the maids had prepared in advance and changed into a robe.
Throughout the whole process, all I could think about was Aslan.
I pondered over my memories with Aslan.
From my first meeting with him, the process of falling in love with him, and the time I tried to change the ‘fate’ called the ‘original’.
The kind words he gave me, small favors, smiles, and sincere gifts.
A foolish time when I got hope from such things.
Before Rosalyn appeared, I had some hope.
Maybe Aslan will have the same mind as me.
We’re getting along quite well, so a future different from the fate of the ‘original’ may unfold.
But it was just my illusion.
From the moment Rosalyn appeared, everything was quickly returning to its place.
‘Even if I had felt room for him, it was just my misunderstanding to expect the same.’
He was a kind man by nature. So, everything he said and did for me must have come from human good will.
‘… … Still, if that’s the case, then don’t be like that to me.’
I bit my lip.
The kind words he gave me, small favors, smiles, and sincere gifts.
When I realized the reality of the things that once made my heart flutter, my eyes became hot.
“It hurts more by making people look forward to it.”
I knew it wasn’t Aslan’s fault.
Even if I blamed him like this, I knew very well that my responsibility for misunderstanding alone would not disappear.
“I look like a fool.”
I closed my eyes, muttering to myself. The voice was heard again in the darkness.
[I didn’t expect it to last this long either.…… Annonyingly.]
I felt like I was falling into a swamp, a deep swamp.
*
It’s hot. It hurts. I’m tired.
Half awake, I thought dazed.
“-Lena.”
“Huh.”
The hand sweeping down my forehead was delicate.
It felt good as the fingertips that carefully removed the wet hair one by one were cold.
I just wish that cold hand would sweep my forehead for a long time.
As if my prayers had been reached, a large, cold hand gently rubbed my forehead.
The hand came down very slowly.
Soft fingertips gently sweeping down the cheekbones, cheeks, and jaw line, making a cool path.
Oh, good. I want this fever to cool down.
However, the fingers, which were hesitating near my lips, no longer listened to my wishes.
The pleasant coolness disappeared.
“Yes.”
My dry, sore throat reflexively whined and moaned.
Then, a deep sigh came from the side.
“I’d rather–“
A familiar, but unfamiliar voice.
“- Lena, Helena. Please.”
Who is it?
Who are you to call me with such a sad voice?
My curiosity was aroused by the continuous voice that seemed to tap my ears.
“Please…”
But I couldn’t lift my heavy eyelids and fell into a deep sleep again.
*
I’ve been very sick for a few days.
The doctor prescribed the medicine, saying that he could not diagnose the exact name of the disease, and that it was just because I was very tired.
I knew why I was sick.
‘Cause I didn’t want to admit it. I don’t want to admit that I have to leave now…….’
I sighed and got up. My joints were throbbing and my shoulders were stiff.
However, except for that, I was very fine even while being seriously ill.
I thought my sweat-soaked clothes would stick, the blanket would be wet, or I couldn’t wash up, but I wrong.
It was just like waking up from a deep sleep.
I was feverish and didn’t know how time went, but I could feel someone caring for me sincerely while being next to me.
It seemed that not only the medicine was given, but the towel was constantly changed on the forehead, wiped the body, and the blanket was also changed.
There was only one person to do such a thing.
“It was probably Jenna, right?”
Jenna, my exclusive maid, she must be the one who devoted herself to nursing me for a few days.
‘But was Jenna’s hand that big?’
I looked back on my vague memories, but nothing came to mind clearly.
I was out of my mind, so I thought I must have mistaken on the size of her hand, so I finished thinking.
“I should repay her with my thanks before I leave.”’
There is not much time left until the end of the contract, and there is more work to be done before that.
I tried to make sure I had been in bed for exactly how many days.
And when I checked today’s date, I was surprised.
“ah.”
Slowly my blinking eyes trembled.
Today was ‘my’ birthday.
“It’s today.”
My voice, which separates the silence of the empty room, was mixed with joy and expectations.
It’s a day that comes every year, and some might scold me for making such a fuss, but I’m still excited.
[I won’t forget, I will always remember.]
Because he, Aslan, promised me.
For that reason alone, it became natural for me to feel like floating in the sky.